Saturday, June 27, 2015

Communication: Only words???

This week's topic for class was "Communication". It is pretty interesting topic, something that we as people need to be much better educated on. Miscommunication is at the root of so many isssues, ESPECIALLY in relationships! A common phrase that is all too true states,
"HOW you say something is much more important than WHAT you say." I'm sure all of us can relate to a time when someone said something to you in a way that the words they used did not at reflect what they were really meaning to say. Especially in todays world where some much of our humor and entertainment come from sarcasm. Where sarcasm really can seem wotty and give a crowd a good laugh, its effects ate far reaching. It can cause so much confusion because the communication channels are sending contradictory messages! Some people's confidence can be crushed if they take seriously what people say to them sarcastically.  Their ability to trust is weakened and cause people to build walls internally. This is just a few of the negative effects of bad communication.

We communicate in more ways than just using words! There are 2 groups,
VERBAL (*Words *Tone)
NON VERBAL (*Posture *Facial expression *Eye contact)
Which one do you think speaks the loudest? You might be surprised to know, as I was, what the percentage of communication is for each of those areas. One study said this
WORDS: 14%
TONES: 35%
I don't know about you but I thought that was pretty interesting! What I thought was even more interesting is the statement that our teacher made as we were discussing this particular part of our "communication" discussion. He asked a question,  something along the lines of, "If these percentages are true what does that mean for texting and social media? Are we missing 85% of the message? ?  *(100%-35% [tones]-51% [nonverbal]cues=85% of message GONE)
I feel like that is something for all of us to be aware of! I just want to make sure that I am more careful in my communication! I want to say what I mean. Being sensitive to others feelings of course but being honest and not sarcastic. And I want to be better at communicating in person as much as possible so avoid those misinterpretations that are so easy to stumble on as we cut of our lines of communication!

Saturday, June 6, 2015

This week we’ve talked about preparing for marriage. Every girl’s dream right;P?! Haha but really I’m not going to lie, I think about it all the time! It’s the BIGGEST decision I will ever make, especially with an eternal perspective! Having said that, this week’s discussions have been extremely enlightening! It made me think about things I would have never considered otherwise and helped me know what is healthy and what is not. For example, I learned that according to research on how happy/successful/lasting a marriage is, you should only spend $500-$2,000 dollars on a ring and only about $1,000 on the wedding. Also, it is wise for a couple to plan the wedding together and not exclude one or the other (EX the girl planning the wedding with her mother and not involving her fiancĂ©). Another interesting thing was that it is unhealthy for all relationships involved for the parents of the couple getting married to pay for the wedding. The begging of their marriage is a crucial time for the newly wed to bond and grow closer together. If they are concerned with paying the debt back to their parents, they potentially will spend less time, energy, and focus on their relationship. But that is not the only relationship that could be strained. Once you have barrowed that money from your parents, your relationship with them changes, you are now indebted to them and it can sometimes cause unnecessary conflict. I have never wanted to have a big wild wedding or spend a lot of money on things, but I assumed that my parents would help with things and I didn’t really think much of it, but this really makes sense to me why it might not be the best choice to do that! I am grateful to have learned a little more about how to be prepared for when that time in my life comesJ!